May is Masturbation Month!

Masturbation.

There’s no better way to learn what we do and don’t like. But what else can masturbation do for us?

Plus, have you ever seen what it does to your brain? Cause it’s kind of amazing {gif alert}.

The problem is that there is a gender gap when it comes to orgasms in general. With regards to self-pleasure, many vagina owners weren’t told that masturbation was okay or natural. This all serves to make us sexual objects for our partners instead of for ourselves.

There is hope! Sweden and other progressive countries are including info on self-pleasure in their hella comprehensive sex ed – and it’s working to help close the gap.

Masturbation May has quite a history – but one that’s already been covered by some amazing writers. Check it out.

Some people like to ‘do it’ themselves while others love to utilize toys. Here is a primer on how to use a vibrator – and what you should know before buying your first one. Make sure to visit our Pinterest board dedicated to masturbation and sex toys for more motivation and information.

Whatever you do, just watch out for toxic and unsafe toys. That’s why I recommend companies like Tantus, Vibrant, and Fun Factory – you know you’re getting safe and quality products!

Grab bags are cool – you choose what kind of toy you want by the shape. Then, Tantus sends you a random-colored toy at a discount. Sweet, right? Tantus’ sale ends on Thursday, May 11, so get clicking!

In case you need some motivation, here are ‘35 Reasons You Should Add Masturbation to Your Self-Care Routine.’ Hell, Jane Fonda of Grace & Frankie does it often! (PS I’ve finally binged on G&F and cannot recommend it more.)

Oh, and did I mention you can masturbate for a good cause? Learn more here.

Review: Crescendo from Mystery Vibe

Note: I did receive the Crescendo for free, though not in exchange for this review. I’ll be blunt and honest as always.

Today, we’re talking about the Crescendo from Mystery Vibe.

The press around this toy has been impressive, being featured in a number of print and digital magazines or sites. Crescendo was even honored as one of The 10 Best Sex Toys Released in 2016 by Glamour. My big question to answer here is:

How accessible is the Crescendo to us chronically badass and disabled peeps?

First, some background & details:

Crescendo is innovative from an idea perspective. The toy arrives straight (like a space bar) but can be positioned in a number of ways. It is waterproof. There is also an app that you can utilize to control Crescendo’s vibrations.

Because the outer skin of the toy is silicone, it’s important to remember not to utilize oil or silicone-based lubes with it because that’s how damage happens. Water-based is the way to go here.

After opening Crescendo up, I was instantly struck by how snazzy the whole package was. Included with the toy: a wireless charger and a cute little satin carrying pouch. It added to the luxuriousness of the whole thing.

The first time I tried this, I was in a hotel out in Portland. Setting the mood a little bit with some sexy music from Hamilton and a few hot visualizations, I felt pretty in the mood. I decided to forgo using the app the first go-round because I wanted to see how accessible the toy was on its own.

It didn’t really impress me.

It is really difficult to change between modes/speeds while using the toy with hand dexterity issues. The mode-changing buttons were in really awkward spaces, especially if you’re handling Crescendo a lot during use.

Bending the Crescendo was a little iffy, too. I was concerned about breaking it! I didn’t need to be, but still – it hampered the mood a little bit in addition to not being super easy for my cripple hands.

There are some powerful motors in this thing. I attempted to try this out during a fibromyalgia flare. One of the symptoms I get hit with a lot is where sensations that don’t usually hurt actually do (allodynia). That normally doesn’t affect my masturbation habits or toy use, but it did here. The motors of the Crescendo are so powerful that it was uncomfortable. Combine that with how difficult it is to change modes and intensity on the Crescendo itself and there is no way I would be able to use this during a fibro flare.

When I did use the app, I had mixed feelings. It updated my Crescendo which was cool. As a part of that, I was able to access a bunch of new vibrations – ones that I honestly liked better than the heavy hitters preloaded onto the device. It was easier to switch between these and control a bit of the intensity.

wild cats setting on the mystery vibe app

However, the app would keep resetting if my phone screen went dark. This led to it having to sync with Crescendo, which meant turning it off and back on again if I wanted to change modes. Either that, or I was constantly trying to keep my phone ‘awake’ to keep everything in sync. Since I really like variety, this was a turn-off… such a turn-off that I didn’t even cum honestly.

And I usually cum pretty easily.

I thought part of the draw of this would be to have a more hands-free orgasm, but that just wasn’t possible. While the bending component was neat, Crescendo wasn’t able to bend in enough of a way to be completely comfortable and hands-free. Unless I held down this part on my clit, she didn’t get any stimulation at all.

I could see this device being fun for play with partner(s). The idea of someone controlling what my potential sexual pleasure feels like is a major turn-on. It would be incredible for teasing, just not for orgasms.

Final verdict? For now, inaccessible and not worth the money.

Between the operating difficulties, problems with the app, and the $200 price tag… this really isn’t an accessible device. It makes me sad because I feel like there is a lot of potential in this idea. That said, I know Mystery Vibe has done a few iterations of this device so far. My hope is that they can make this a little more accessible by:

  • adjusting the bending technique
  • tweaking the intensity/mode controls on the device
  • improving the app

Ideally, the price would go down, too – but, with these improvements, I might be able to to have a mind-blowing orgasm… in which case, price becomes slightly less important to me. Still, I generally would never spend this much on a sex toy because 1) I’m self-employed, 2) I’m disabled and have a ton of medical bills, and, 3) that’s a lot of money I could spend on other things.

In the future, it’s possible that this will become more accessible and actually give me an orgasm. For now, though, it’s a hard pass.

Are you a nasty woman?

A few weeks ago, Crave had a great buy-one-get-one deal on Vespers. I have been dying to get one since watching Kate McCombs wear hers around as a gorgeous necklace and conversation piece. When I saw this deal also including free engraving of the phrase ‘Nasty Woman’ on it? I jumped at the chance.

While I haven’t used my Vesper for the fun times, I have used it in some non-genital erogenous zones. I just have to say that the vibrations are strong, quiet, and effective. My Vesper has actually been a great piece in me working on my trigger points in my upper neck!

Vibrators are not just for genitals, y’all.

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One of the things I love about this vibrator is it’s very discreet. Everything packs up into a beautiful little carrying case that you could easy put in your pocket or purse.

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You can learn more about Crave and features of the Vesper here.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You could also click here for a mobile-friendly link if the above doesn’t work.

Good luck!

 

Lube 101: Types and Things to Think About

Last week, we talked a little bit about the awesomeness that is lube. This week, we’re talking types of lube.

Oil-based

These lubricants can be pretty fun, but also pretty messy. Some kinds you might know are vaseline, mineral/baby/coconut oil, and lotions. Perhaps the biggest pro to these lubes is that they are long lasting and can be really great for people who have extreme genital dryness.

The biggest downsides:

They can break down latex condoms and rubber toys! Make sure to utilize polyurethane condoms with these kinds of lube.

They can also make it easier to get infections. If you have any issues with your immune system, I’d stay away.

You feel pretty sticky or slick afterward.

Silicone-based

These lubes . Some brands you may know include Überlube and Astroglide. One of the biggest perks here? These lubes are waterproof AKA they’re great for water-based sexy activities. These also tend to feel pretty silky, which many people enjoy on their own or with others.

Drawbacks? These stain pretty well and are not compatible with silicone sex toys.

Water-based

Lubes in this category tend to be the easiest to utilize in a variety of situations because they’re compatible with all sex toys and generally can cause less irritation than the two above categories. Brands you may be familiar with here include KY and Liquid Silk. Clean-up is a breeze with these as all you need to do is rinse, unlike the two categories above which need soap to really leave.

The biggest downside? Some can contain glycerin or, if flavored, sugar which can promote yeast infections. These can also dry out pretty quickly, meaning that you may need to add water or a little spit to reactivate the lube.

These can come in liquids, gels, and creams, so don’t think it’s all liquid-only.

Some good things to know

If you have sensitive skin, it may be good to stay away from lubes that contain extras like parabens, glycerin, or various flavorings or scents. Glycerin can also cause an uptick in yeast infections – and can be commonly found in water-based lubes – so make sure to read the label.

Allergies and reactions can happen to just about any lube. It’s always important to know your allergies as well as the allergies of others you may be intimate with in order to be completely safe.

There are also hybrid lubes, combining the above categories. Make sure to read the label.

Your bum does not really have natural lubricant of its own, so ALWAYS use lube with bum fun.

The lubricant that is right for you will depend on the activity, how many people are involved, where this is taking place, allergies/irritations, and what your end result may be. If you are looking for a lube to aid with everyday vaginal dryness, for example, you may want a different lube than if you were involved in sex with a group with an armory of sex toys at their fingertips – which will be different than lube you may want to use for masturbation, mutual or on your own.

Please make sure to join us next week when we will be discussing one of the best lubes out there. You will have a chance to enter to win a bottle!