Category: sponsored

Getting Tested for STIs

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

This post is sponsored by STDCheck. All content is mine, per usual.

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We’ve talked in the past about some basic STI facts, but let’s dig in a little deeper.

It’s worth reiterating that STIs aren’t always symptomatic. That means that you might not be able to tell if you or someone else is dealing with an infection. The only ways to be sure are to either abstain from all interpersonal activity or get tested.

Many STIs are bacterial and curable with antibiotics… well, except the super strains. For those that are viral, there are medications to help make day-to-day life more manageable.

Also, hey, there are plenty of people who have robust sex lives despite viral STIs. Don’t think that it’ll ruin your future.

Alright, let’s dig in!

Continue reading “Getting Tested for STIs” →

What To Do When Your STI Clinic Isn’t Accessible

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

This post is sponsored by Health Labs. All content is mine, though, as usual.

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It’s happened to a lot of us. You open your phone to a text from a former hookup saying, “Hey, you should probably get tested…” As a sex educator, I know those conversations are hard. How are you supposed to respond? Do you say, “Hey, thanks for the heads up” or get defensive? Do you hold space for them?

Actionably following up on these texts can be even more difficult. Where do you go? Should you see your primary doctor, or will that bring up shame? Does your local Planned Parenthood have openings anytime soon? Is there another testing option?

While these situations are difficult for any person, they often get harder for many of us. As someone who is genderfluid, queer, and disabled, I have to prepare myself for crappy interactions, especially in health care.

For one, STI clinics are notoriously inaccessible. They’re often small and crowded. Like Andrew, we may not even be able to get inside a testing location. There may be no temperature control inside. Workers there may wear too much perfume or use plug-in fragrance dispensers. People like Rachael and I – and many others – would need extra medication, transportation, and scent-proof masks to protect ourselves.

Again, like Andrew, we may encounter health care providers who are shocked that we’re having sex. This is especially true when we’ve visibly disabled or even fat. It feels like going into a losing battle when I know I have to defend myself.

On top of that, testing almost always means having to ‘come out’ in one sense or another. Providers need to know which spaces to swab and take a look at. Even though we should be able to have these conversations, they also open us up for judgments. Are these providers queer friendly? Will they judge me based on my gender expression and genitals? Do they think non-monogamy is satanic?

For those of us who live in less accepting or rural spaces, we may not have a space safe enough to go for testing. When I was growing up in Eugene, most adults in my family had the same primary care doctor. Today, the man is nearly 60 years old. He has seen each generation from my great grandparents to me when I was little.

Would I be able to trust that he wouldn’t share an STI test with gossiping gals in my family? I honestly don’t think I could.

For people who are on their parents’ or someone else’s insurance, a concern over privacy goes way deeper than for others. A statement or explanation of benefits often gets sent to the person in whose name the insuarnce is listed. If you’re a young adult whose parents don’t know you’re sexually active, you might be forced to have that conversation.

“What do I do when there’s not a good space to go?”

This is one of those moments I thank the deities for the internet.

There are tests out there you can easily order online. I don’t trust a lot of them, though, if they don’t run through proper labs.

You can always reach out to organizations such as Planned Parenthood to find clinics near you they’d endorse. You can also call around to local clinics and ask about any accessibility needs you may have. Of course, that’s not a great option for many of us who have anxiety around phone calls, but it could be a viable alternative.

Thankfully, Health Labs also has a great selection of STI-related tests! I’d recommend their Comprehensive STD Panel, unless you’re only looking for a specific STI test. You can see their offerings here.

How does it work?

Health Labs works with Quest Diagnostics and have a handy testing center locator. You can contact locations and ask about their accessibility before you pay, too, which is nice. I’d much rather know that a space traditionally uses air deoderizers that I’m allergic to than have no idea – at least I can prepare!

First, you go order your test and pay for it on the site. They don’t accept insurance which can helpful for anyone worried about an insurance issue.

Then, you simply show up at whatever location works best for you with your receipt to get your tests done. There’s no scheduling to do!

You get your test results within a couple days. You’re alerted via email that your results are in. All you have to do is log into your account to view them.

Make sure to get in touch with a health care provider for the proper treatment if you test positive for anything. Many STIs can be cleared up with a course of antibiotics! During the time you receive treatment, it’s important to take proper precautions with partners. It’s no fun to pass any infection back and forth!

Above all, remember to have conversations with recent partners if you test positive for an STI. Their consent relies on your disclosure.

Ready to Jump Back Into Dating? Here’s What You Need to Know

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

black and white photo of two people from the back walking together on a rainy day - one of them has an umbrella - teal oval with white text "Ready to Jump Back Into Dating? Here's What You Need to Know" and "Chronic Sex"

Look, dating is hard. I’ve been out of the game for a decade. I know everything has changed since I was galavanting around in cars with random people.

I was not a safe teen.

I recently joined a dating app to play with things a bit. It’s so much different than before!

When you’re ready to start dating, it’s important that you don’t let the changing culture impact your decision to date. Never shy away from pursuing relationships simply because you aren’t quite sure what’s popular, common, or trendy. There are always ways to learn and study modern dating before taking the leap.

If you’re ready to start dating, there are a couple of things you need to know.

Phone Calls Aren’t A Thing

People don’t call each other anymore. Like, almost ever.

Part of it is a millennial thing I’m sure, but it’s not just us! Most people don’t want to answer the phone, especially when driving or at work. Many people – like me – simply don’t feel comfortable talking on the phone that much.

I don’t even call to order pizza. It’s definitely not you.

Don’t be upset if someone doesn’t want to talk on the phone with you. There are so many other ways to communicate, such as emailing, chatting, or even spending more time together IRL. This is an excellent excuse to meet up for brief coffee dates and other lower energy activities, too. Having coffee together will give you a chance to talk and spend time together, but won’t take up the entire evening.

It’s always important for me to be home at a certain time for meds. Coffee dates make that possible.

Get Comfortable Texting

I’m constantly on my phone. Let’s be real – when you have a chronic illness or a disability, using your phone is often a lot easier than whipping out your laptop or sitting at your computer. If you’re anything like me, you’re already a pro at texting and more.

If you don’t spend a lot of time texting, prepare yourself. You might need to be able to make plans completely via text.

When texting, it’s important to be consistent in the style you use. If you’re going to use early 2000s era text speech (“U R 2 cute”), make sure that the person or people on the other end are okay with that. The best thing to do is text like you type – complete-ish sentences with punctuation. Don’t send huge, lengthy text messages when something short, brief, and to-the-point will suffice.

Talk with potential partners about how they want to communicate. There are a lot of messaging apps and systems people might use over texting, like Whatsapp.

If texting creates an accessibility issue for you, be upfront in your online dating profile.

Use Apps!

Finally, make sure you start getting comfortable with dating apps – and which ones fit the end goal you’re looking for. Tinder might be great for hooking up, but isn’t the best for long-term stuff. Most people use apps or websites, such as Badults, to find and meet new people. Again, be clear about what you’re looking for – friends, hookups, or longer-term relationships – when evaluating sites. It’s always a good idea to clarify that in your profile as well.

Dating apps enable you to meet a wide range of people very quickly. If you want to try long-distance dating, you can find someone far away to spend time getting to know. Sometimes that can be a great stepping stone, too, if you’re not ready to go on dates. If dates are what you’re looking for, apps can be the ideal way to find someone who is in your area and available to meet up with quickly.

Most apps let you connect instantly with people who share your same interests, whether that’s music, reading, or dancing. You can look for people who match what you’re searching for and start talking with whomever catches your fancy. You might not be able to tick every box, but you can certainly find someone who likes dogs, enjoys reading, won’t be a jerk about health issues (relatively speaking at least), and isn’t your parents’ age.

Bottom Line

Make sure you head into dating with realistic expectations, especially with health issues. There are a lot of people who are more selfish and unable to commit to us when we might be a little more complicated than the average bear.

You might not find a partner right away, especially if you’re looking for that final relationship. You can meet a lot of interesting, exciting people who have the same interests as you. Finding someone to date can be a fun, exciting experience, so make sure you have reasonable expectations and a great attitude. Chances are you’ll find someone interesting and you’ll be able to get to know them in a fun, casual setting.

This is a sponsored post.

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How to Enjoy Sex Toys Safely: 4 Healthy Hints

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Few things can bring more joy and excitement to the bedroom than a sex toy. From vibrators with multiple settings to anal plugs, these items not only help you receive the health benefits of sex in a fun way – they can help you discover more about yourself and how you orgasm. However, it is important to use adult toys in a way that is both pleasurable and safe, and there are several ways to keep yourself healthy while you enjoy yourself in the bedroom.

Be Savvy About Materials  

The sex toy industry is not heavily regulated, so when you shop, it is important that you understand which materials are safe. This is especially essential when it comes to toys that are made to be inserted into the vagina or anus. Look for products made from silicone, unbreakable glass, or other hypoallergenic materials. Be wary of inexpensive jelly toys which can break down inside the body and may cause irritation, chemical burns, and more. Make sure to check out Dangerous Lilly’s resource on toxic toys.

Clean Items Thoroughly  

You may think giving your adult toys a quick rinse and wipe after use is enough to keep them clean, but bacteria might linger. Toys that are not properly cleaned can cause bacterial and vaginal yeast infections that can be passed on to your partner. Clean your items thoroughly after each use with spray, gel, or wipes made specifically to disinfect adult toys. It’s important to also store them in a cool, dry space afterward. Several stores have antimicrobial storage bags or boxes.

Penetrate Wisely

Whether enjoying time alone or playing with a partner, being smart about penetration can help keep you safe and healthy. Speed and depth are both factors, so be sure to experiment with new toys and take time to discover how to insert them comfortably. For example, if you want to experience an anal bullet vibrator for the first time, purchase it during the weekend or during a time when you have time to explore it properly and safely. Go slowly and use a lot of lube. Regardless of experience, make sure to use toys with a flared base, especially if you’re alone. You can even snag flared base add-ons.

Learn About Lube

Lube can provide a measure of comfort during sex play, especially if you are new to items that provide deep penetration. However, not all lube is created equal. You should avoid using lotion or other skin care products on your adult toys, as this may damage them or cause them to degrade. Try using water-based lube that is easy to rinse away, especially on silicone items.

Using sex toys in the bedroom can be fun and exciting, but only if you know how to use them safely. Keep your items clean, play with thoughtful partners, and choose trusted brands as a part of a safe and healthy sex life.

This is a sponsored post.