Endometriosis is incredibly painful. I don’t live with it but have friends who do and the pain they experience is hard to even witness third-person.
What is it?
Endo is a condition where the material that lines the inside of the uterus (endometrium) begins to grow outside the uterus. Usually, it seems to stay on the uterus, but it can affect other organs as well. This can create cysts, lesions, and scar tissue that has to be removed.
Pain increases with menstruation, bathrooming, and sexual activity.
Fertility is affected as well. Eggs may not be able to be released from the ovaries, may not be able to travel down the fallopian tubes, and may not be able to attach themselves to the uterine wall.
Treatments that address pain control, hormone therapy such as birth control pills, surgery, and hysterectomy may all be needed.
Where can I learn more?
If you’d like to learn more about what endo feels like, please check out my pal Abby Norman. She has been featured by Glamour Magazine, Huffington Post, Seventeen, Forbes, The Atlantic, Bustle, and more. and has presented at conferences such at MedX and the Endometriosis Foundation of America Medical Conference.
In addition to being an excellent writer, she runs Ask Me About My Uterus. AMAMU discusses issues related to endo, miscarriage, birth control, menopause, pregnancy, menstruation, and more.
The Endometriosis Foundation of America is another great resource.
HEART Women & Girls is one of my favorite organizations. They are a Muslim-led organization that focuses on promoting sexual health, personal agency, equality, and awareness of sexual violence. By ending the silence of all these issues, we can help to end problems.
They are currently working to raise money in order to grow their virtual library. These beautiful resources are great for everyone, no matter your religious or spiritual background. Check out their birth control FAQs video below:
It’s so important, especially now, for us to support the Muslim community in these endeavors. HEART is a great organization with amazing resources that are so useful to so many. I, for one, am excited to see what amazing resources they come up with next.
What’s on the docket? Videos on anatomy, menstruation, talking to doctors about reproductive/sexual things, pap smears, and more!
Would you like to help donate? Visit HEART’s campaign on Launchgood.
Disclosure: As a Fun Factory affiliate, I receive sex toys each month in exchange for my honest review of them. This system in no way affects my opinions of these products. This review has affiliate links.
Today, I’ll be reviewing the Calice :
First, let’s check some facts.
The Calice is made of silicone, so don’t use silicone or oily lubes as they can degrade the toy/change the consistency of the material. It’s also totally waterproof which I love. It charges through a USB cord that connects magnetically to the bottom of the device.
For those interested in stats, the Calice is 6.5 inches long and 1.4 inches in diameter. There are also six different vibration types along with six different intensities.
I’ll be real – I chose this vibrator because of the unique shape it has. It’s enough like a dildo, the top like the head of a penis. Still, the interesting shape at the top and front was intriguing. It actually made it very easy to add lube as I was able to slide the lube down the notch in the shaft.
When I opened this up, I really was most excited for the cut-out at the top. I hope that it would make this a great tool for clitoris stimulation – and I wasn’t let down. That made it great not only for targeting the clit, but the nipples and even for edging (if you haven’t tried edging, I certainly highly suggest it). The dildo-like shape, combined with the soft material, really made this an exciting toy to use, too.
I honestly became turned on just by thinking about using this toy after the first use. It’s the first sex toy I’ve gotten turned on by before using! Since I have some arousal issues, that’s saying a lot, too!
As a vagina-haver, I’m unsure how this would work for penis-havers, but this seems like a toy that would very easily stimulate the prostate from the outside via the perineum/taint. The lack of a flared base means anal play is a little risky with this toy. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it for anal play on your own, but it could potentially be okay with a partner.
Because of my systemic juvenile arthritis, my hands don’t always work well – especially in awkward positions like using a vibrator. I love the shape of this vibrator, though. It’s easy to hold and the buttons to change vibration and intensity are accessible while using this toy. The buttons aren’t in the way enough where I accidentally changed anything I didn’t mean to, either, which is nice.
The power is great, even on some rough fibromyalgia days. For those unfamiliar, fibro can make common sensations – even clothing – hurt. When I’m having a fibro day, I can’t be touched, wear clothing, or even have contact with rougher surfaces. Since the Calice is so soft – and easy to control with regards to sensation and intensity – it’s the only vibrator I’ve been able to use during a fibro day that didn’t cause more pain.
All in all, this toy was incredibly accessible for me. The Fun Factory lubricant combined with the toy’s effectiveness, unique shape, easy button-based controls, and power really have turned me on to more vibrators. I highly suggest it for those who enjoy dildos, vibrators, and uniquely shaped sex toys.
You can shop the general Fun Factory site using my affiliate link or go right to the Calice. Shopping using these two affiliate links is a great way to support Chronic Sex in addition to getting yourself something fun.
I wish this wasn’t a conversation we had to have in 2017 but, alas, it is.
Many conferences and talks centering on disability don’t include those of us with disabilities. This is especially true when it comes to sex and intimacy centered spaces.
One of the most difficult parts of being a part of a marginalized group like having a chronic illness/pain condition/disability is that we are so often talked *about* without being included in on these conversations. This violates the basic ‘Nothing about us without us’ mantra that so many activists in the disability/illness/pain realm live by. It also serves to eliminate intersectionality when it comes to our experiences.
One barrier to our involvement in conferences and events is that there isn’t always a lot of press around the work we do; additionally, there isn’t one single place people can go to find us.
My pal Kate McCombs and I are aiming to change that. We are creating a directory of people with disabilities who speak on sex, sexuality, and other intimacy-related topics. You can check out those who have already added their names here. If you’d like to add your name, please fill out our Google Form.
This week, I talk with photographer, writer/author, and general badass: Lene Andersen. As you will hear, she is one of the reasons that Chronic Sex started. She is a wonderful advocate, activist, and pal. Keep in mind that this episode was recorded over the summer of 2016. That said, we mention a contest for SYLK that has since run and ended.
You can find links for Lene below:
- Real RA: It’s Not Just About the Jar
- Masturbating and RA
- The Seated View
- Health Central
- Creaky Joints
We mention the following:
- Come As You Are (sex shop in Toronto)
- Good Clean Love lubes
- Liberator sex furniture
- A page with arthritis-friendly sex positions
Visit us on SoundCloud, iTunes, or your favorite streaming app. While you’re listening, make sure to subscribe, rate, or comment on the Chronic Sex Podcast using whichever app you stream through. The more you do this, the more other people see this work.
As always, please support this work if you can. You can donate monthly on Patreon, give a one-time donation on iFundWomen, or visit the ‘support us‘ page above for other ideas. You can also volunteer to transcribe podcast episodes or a number of other things.
A quick note: Normally, Thursday evenings are our chat nights as well. I’m battling some migraine-related issues and unfortunately don’t have enough brain power to run chat tonight. Join us next week for chat – and in two weeks for a new podcast episode.