Ethical Non-Monogamy

four people hug on a hill facing the sun; some hold hands behind backs

A couple of notes:

The majority of books links shared are Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn commissions from qualifying purchases made through links in this post at no additional cost to you.

While I’ve shared some resources that use the shorthand ‘poly,’ Polynesian folks also use that shorthand and have asked for the community to use PolyAm versus poly to help them connect with their community.

Multiple people within the ENM community are incredibly problematic. I have included some of their resources, but please note the following people are on the Blacklist if you’d like to review more information: Janet Hardy, Cunning Minx, Tristan Taormino.

General

Books

If you're purchasing a book (or a few!), consider doing so through Bookshop. As an affiliate with them, I get a little kickback - at no extra cost to you. Plus, they give proceeds to locally-owned bookstores to help them survive!

  • Building Open Relationships: Your hands-on guide to swinging, polyamory, and beyond! by Dr. Liz Powell

    • This is the best book for those new to the concept with a ton of exercises to work out jealousy, rules, etc.
  • Love’s Not Color Blind by Kevin Patterson
  • Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel
  • Opening Up by Tristan Taormino
  • Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern
  • Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships by Meg-John Barker
  • Jealousy Survival Guide: How to feel safe, happy & secure in an open relationship by Kitty Chambless
  • Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners by Deborah Anapol
  • Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life by Amy Gahran
  • The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy & Dossie Easton
  • The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships by Kathy Labriola
  • The Polyamory Breakup Book: Causes, Prevention, and Survival by Kathy Labriola
  • The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families by Eli Sheff
  • When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous: Understanding Poly People and Relationships by Eli Sheff
  • Use Your Words: Opening Language for Open Relationships by Stephanie K. Webb

Podcasts

Dating Sites

Additional Resources