Look, dating is hard. I’ve been out of the game for a decade. I know everything has changed since I was galavanting around in cars with random people.
I was not a safe teen.
I recently joined a dating app to play with things a bit. It’s so much different than before!
When you’re ready to start dating, it’s important that you don’t let the changing culture impact your decision to date. Never shy away from pursuing relationships simply because you aren’t quite sure what’s popular, common, or trendy. There are always ways to learn and study modern dating before taking the leap.
If you’re ready to start dating, there are a couple of things you need to know.
Phone Calls Aren’t A Thing
People don’t call each other anymore. Like, almost ever.
Part of it is a millennial thing I’m sure, but it’s not just us! Most people don’t want to answer the phone, especially when driving or at work. Many people – like me – simply don’t feel comfortable talking on the phone that much.
I don’t even call to order pizza. It’s definitely not you.
Don’t be upset if someone doesn’t want to talk on the phone with you. There are so many other ways to communicate, such as emailing, chatting, or even spending more time together IRL. This is an excellent excuse to meet up for brief coffee dates and other lower energy activities, too. Having coffee together will give you a chance to talk and spend time together, but won’t take up the entire evening.
It’s always important for me to be home at a certain time for meds. Coffee dates make that possible.
Get Comfortable Texting
I’m constantly on my phone. Let’s be real – when you have a chronic illness or a disability, using your phone is often a lot easier than whipping out your laptop or sitting at your computer. If you’re anything like me, you’re already a pro at texting and more.
If you don’t spend a lot of time texting, prepare yourself. You might need to be able to make plans completely via text.
When texting, it’s important to be consistent in the style you use. If you’re going to use early 2000s era text speech (“U R 2 cute”), make sure that the person or people on the other end are okay with that. The best thing to do is text like you type – complete-ish sentences with punctuation. Don’t send huge, lengthy text messages when something short, brief, and to-the-point will suffice.
Talk with potential partners about how they want to communicate. There are a lot of messaging apps and systems people might use over texting, like Whatsapp.
If texting creates an accessibility issue for you, be upfront in your online dating profile.
Finally, make sure you start getting comfortable with dating apps – and which ones fit the end goal you’re looking for. Tinder might be great for hooking up, but isn’t the best for long-term stuff. Most people use apps or websites, such as Badults, to find and meet new people. Again, be clear about what you’re looking for – friends, hookups, or longer-term relationships – when evaluating sites. It’s always a good idea to clarify that in your profile as well.
Dating apps enable you to meet a wide range of people very quickly. If you want to try long-distance dating, you can find someone far away to spend time getting to know. Sometimes that can be a great stepping stone, too, if you’re not ready to go on dates. If dates are what you’re looking for, apps can be the ideal way to find someone who is in your area and available to meet up with quickly.
Most apps let you connect instantly with people who share your same interests, whether that’s music, reading, or dancing. You can look for people who match what you’re searching for and start talking with whomever catches your fancy. You might not be able to tick every box, but you can certainly find someone who likes dogs, enjoys reading, won’t be a jerk about health issues (relatively speaking at least), and isn’t your parents’ age.
Make sure you head into dating with realistic expectations, especially with health issues. There are a lot of people who are more selfish and unable to commit to us when we might be a little more complicated than the average bear.
You might not find a partner right away, especially if you’re looking for that final relationship. You can meet a lot of interesting, exciting people who have the same interests as you. Finding someone to date can be a fun, exciting experience, so make sure you have reasonable expectations and a great attitude. Chances are you’ll find someone interesting and you’ll be able to get to know them in a fun, casual setting.
This is a sponsored post.