Did you know planning for sex leads to a more fulfilling sex life?

Well, that’s kind of true.

According to the Guardian, “Those with personality traits falling under the conscientious umbrella i.e. people who are efficient, achievement-oriented, disciplined and dependable, are more likely to be sexually satisfied than those who pride themselves on a devil-may-care approach to intimacy.”

This study was conducted on mostly hetero couples and, probably, mostly cis peeps. It was not noted if any dealt with chronic illnesses, either, and that’s important.

I plan everything or, at least, that’s what my calendar would make it look like. Unfortunately, the reality is quite different.

Sure, I plan for deadlines and appointments. I have to or, often, I might not remember them. Over the last few years, I’ve let go of the perfectionist organization I’ve kept up since… like grade school. On top of that, many of my days are spent trying to make it to tomorrow. As much as I talk about sex, there is a certain disregard for it if my pain levels are high.

Well, if the info isn’t as straightforward as news articles are making it seem, what should we take away from this study?

Honestly, if your takeaway is that it’s okay to plan for sex? That’s okay, especially if it strikes up important conversations between you and your partners.

We just have to keep in mind that these kinds of studies aren’t geared towards queer, trans, and disabled/chronically ill people… at least, not quite yet.