Experiences of Conversion Practice by Race, Ethnicity, and Gender

The following is a press release issued by The Pride Study on Wednesday, March 13, 2024:

Official Title

Inequities in Conversion Practice Exposure at the Intersection of Ethnoracial and Gender Identities

Community Title

Experiences of Conversion Practice by Race, Ethnicity, and Gender

What Did We Do?

Conversion practices refer to organized attempts to change the sexual orientation and/or gender identity of people who are LGBTQIA+. Some examples include religious rituals and therapy intended to cause a person to associate negative thoughts with being LGBTQIA+. We looked at experiences of conversion practice in The PRIDE Study’s Lifetime Health and Experiences Questionnaire from 2019-2021 among LGTBQIA+ people. We asked participants if they had any conversion practice experiences in their lifetime, the age when they first experienced conversion practice, and the age when they last experienced conversion practice. We then looked at how experiences of conversion practice differed by race, ethnicity, and gender.

What Was New, Innovative, or Notable? 

This is one of the first studies that looked at how experiences of conversion practice differ by race, ethnicity, and gender. We considered how different identities experience power and oppression and how this may have shaped the experiences of conversion practice for different LGBTQIA+ groups.

What Did We Learn? 

There were 9,274 LGBTQIA+ participants in the study. Of them, 5.7% of LGBTQIA+ participants reported any experiences with conversion practice in their life. On average, participants were 18 years old when they first experienced conversion practice and 21 years old when they last experienced it. This resulted in an average of 3 years between their first and last experience with conversion practice. A higher percentage of transgender and nonbinary participants reported conversion practice experiences, especially participants who are American Indian or Alaska Native and/or Middle Eastern or North African.

What Does This Mean for Our Communities? 

Systems of power and oppression may likely shape differences in conversion practice experiences across LGTBQIA+ groups. This may be important for creating federal and local policies that ban conversion practice to protect LGBTQIA+ groups and reduce the harmful effects of such practices, especially for communities who may be affected the most.

What’s Next? 

We plan to look at how different experiences of conversion practice affect mental health. This involves understanding how practices targeting sexual orientation, gender identity, or both can impact mental health differently for LGBTQIA+ individuals.

Citation

Tran NK, Lett E, Flentje A, Ingram S, Lubensky ME, Dastur Z, Obedin-Maliver J, Lunn MR. Inequities in Conversion Practice Exposure at the Intersection of Ethnoracial and Gender Identities. Am J Public Health. 2024, March 13; 114 (4): 424-434. doi: https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2024.307580

Survey: Experiences with Religion for LGBTQ+ Individuals

UCONN
UNIVERSITY OF CONNECTICUT
PARTICIPANTS
NEEDED
I'm recruiting LGBTQ+ young adults for my
dissertation on religious experiences. If you WERE
RAISED in a religion that does not support LGBTQ+
people, please complete the screener to see if you
qualify.
Qualified respondents:
• Will be invited to a virtual 45 to
60 minute interview
• Receive a $40 Amazon gift card
Click the link below or scan the QR
code to learn more and complete
the screener:
https://bit.ly/48qAWK4
IRB:
Contact: veronica.hanna-walker@uconn.edu

What is the purpose of this study?
The purpose of the study is to better understand (1) LGBTQ+ young adults’ decisions about continuing their association with the religion from their childhood; (2) these adults’ thoughts on what would have helped them in deciding whether to continuing associating with this religion; (3) how their family influenced and/or helped with their decisions about their childhood religion.

What will you have to do if you agree to be in the study?
If you agree to participate, you will be asked to complete an online questionnaire. The questionnaire consists of questions about your age, gender identity, sexual orientation, race/ethnicity, religion, as well as your email address and phone number so we may contact you to invite you to participate in the study if you qualify. This survey will take 5 to 10 minutes.

If you are eligible to participate in the study, you will be invited to be interviewed within 7 to 10 days of taking this survey.

If you’d like to participate, click here.

Representation in Medical Education Needs to Enter the 21st Century

The following is a piece I wrote for a website that wound up falling through.  This is an important topic and needs to be both brought up and discussed, so I’m sharing it here. Note: a lot of cisgender-focused research is linked due to the availability.

a skeleton in black and white puts a hand over its mouth - black text: Representation in Medical Education Needs to Enter the 21st Century

The last several years have brought about more awareness of discrimination. From race to immigration status to gender, ignorant folks are waking up to reality. One area that continues to be an issue, though, is healthcare.

Authors have released books within the last few years highlighting discrimination in healthcare. Michelle Lent Hirsch documents these issues extensively in her book Invisible. Medical professionals are more likely to dismiss or downplay cisgender women’s health issues. That’s also true of those within the trans community and people of color. Providers assume physical issues are emotional or mental as opposed to investigating them. On top of these, providers will dismiss pain caused by other health issues, weight, or gender. It happens so often that there are names for these occasions, such as Trans Broken Arm Syndrome. These patients are less likely to have pain taken seriously, especially if Black and – god forbid – a Black woman.

Why is that?

The American Education Research Association journal explored gender biases. The 2018 study they published investigated students studying medicine. The authors found that men are depicted most often. Their prevalence in these textbooks actually had “a significant impact on the implicit gender attitudes” of the students. As a result, those studied associated cis women with stereotypical areas such as reproductive health instead of spaces like surgery, eye care, etc.

Implicit biases are subconscious beliefs we hold that are discriminatory. You can learn more about that below:

Dr. Kristen Young, DO, MeD, reflected on her education. “The way we learn medicine in medical school,” Young shares, “is very much rote memorization.” Educators give very little background or context for the information they present. Dr. Young says that context comes as students progress in medicine. Still, Dr. Young acknowledges that this focus on memorization “can be hard to shake.” So many students are busy trying to learn and memorize medical content. With the lack of education around oppression in most places, context can be harder to see. These students may not have the information to question the origins of information. That causes harm when these origins include a lack of diversityexperimentation, and literal torture.

It is vital to have that historical knowledge. As someone working in public health, that background helps me understand why patients may not trust medicine or doctors. I can then craft education to meet them where they are. For providers, that background helps them be mindful of the ways white supremacy moves through them.

Without that information, it can also mean we don’t recognize our roles – individual or systemic – or how we can address issues to push for health equity. We are not outside of the systems of inequity, but complicit.

Gender

Heather Edwards, PT, CSC, is a pelvic physical therapist and AASECT sex counselor. Treatments in the field of pelvic floor therapy focus on cis women, alienating cis men and those under the transgender umbrella. Pelvic floor issues affect anyone and everyone, though. This lack of inclusion causes men and trans folks harm. Edwards shares that some “who offer ‘women’s health’ services will also acknowledge that they also treat men and…are ‘trans-inclusive.’” Often, though, that’s shared with other providers and not patients or the general public. Other times, that’s lip service and not something these individuals strive to work toward.

Providers hold workshops based on genitalia, claiming they are inclusive of trans people. They don’t share who all is welcome in that space in descriptions of their offerings. They also don’t list what attendees should expect. It often winds up being exclusive by omission. The fear of encountering misgendering or even physical violence is real. That goes double for spaces people see as ‘women only.’ Edwards suggests providers hosting workshops or giving talks be transparent about their offerings. Educators and providers should be precise about what people can expect. That includes what language educators may use, group work, and more. Doing so gives people the ability to make a decision based on informed consent.

Edwards shares that schooling providers go through doesn’t match society. Schools teach students to “treat bodies through a biomedical model.” We know gender is a societal construct rooted in oppression and white supremacy. We know the disability community hates this model as well. Perhaps it’s time to stop using it altogether?

“It’s not our job to link genitals and gender,” Edwards says. Medical schools do not offer much LGBTQ+ education, though. As recently as 2003, medical schools in North America offered 6-10 hours on topics related to sex for general providers. Most of that focused on dysfunction or fertility, not cultural competency. If we don’t address biases or educate providers about groups they may not have encountered before, we make space for providers to bring their longstanding biases with them into the clinic.

Weight

Patients who are heavier often face discrimination within healthcare as well. There can be a lot of trauma, shame, and stigma around weight. Factors can include societal pressure, self-esteem, and the idea of ‘health’ looking a certain way. These external negative attitudes also lead to providers blaming patients’ weight or refusing to prescribe treatments for very real health conditions. People constantly die or lose organs because of the lack of care. That stigma isn’t helped by a lack of compassion in conversations providers have with patients. In fact, that harshness can lead to increased weight. Notably missing are ways to discuss weight that are culturally competent and compassionate.

I wish that were the end of the issue. Reproductive healthcare items like birth control patches, Plan B, and even pregnancy tests themselves were not tested on or calibrated for fat bodies.

The links Nicola shares above:

If patients allow providers to measure weight, those within healthcare need to be aware that this isn’t an indicator of health. It’s also not the best tool for all people. Usually, when pulling a weight, clinics will calculate a body mass index (or BMI). This tool was developed and tested on white cisgender men. It has not been updated in most cases to fit the needs of those among communities made up of additional races, ethnicities, genders, sexes, and more.

Sex educator Emily Nagoski has also highlighted the sexism inherent in anti-fat attitudes. This is true in greater society as well as in healthcare. That combines with issues such as racism, anti-LGBTQ+ attitudes, or otherwise relying on the ideals of white supremacy. As already highlighted, it is vital to keep these issues in mind. It’s much harder to ignore the ways inequity operates within public health and medicine if you’re conscious of situations such as this. Only after acknowledging a problem exists can we deal with it. Then, providers can work to rebuild trust within communities harmed by exclusion and oppression.

a photo of James Baldwin laughing next to a quote of his - “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

Race

When medical illustrations show cis women, they are generally “white, slim, and young.” The lack of diversity in medical images causes harm to patients in a way we will never fully grasp. Dawn Gibson, a long-time activist, knows this all too well. The Director of The Community Leadership Council at The National Pain Advocacy Center, Gibson has worked internationally to help others gain access to decent healthcare. In that time, she has met many patients whose health conditions have been dismissed or denied by providers. There are many factors, including unfamiliarity with these conditions, insurance, and outright bias.

Providers will also dismiss possible diagnoses by assuming a Black person like Gibson has no European ancestry. “On paper, my genealogy points to about 60% European ancestry. That’s clinically relevant. Still, day-to-day, they say ‘there goes a Black woman.'” This is indicative of a much larger problem – how we view race. Rhonda Rousey, Gibson explains, has an ancestor who was the first Black doctor in Oklahoma. That family passed into whiteness and, now, most will assume Rousey is a white woman. It just “shows you there’s nothing real about racial categories,” Gibson shares. 

Gibson has experienced this dismissal first-hand, from providers to researchers and beyond.

Gibson has Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS), a type of inflammatory arthritis focused primarily on the spine. Before the last few years, providers thought AS was especially rare to see outside of white cis men. There is a 9-year delay in diagnosis for women overall, per Dr. Young. When we add in a patient’s race as a factor, that delay gets even worse. Gibson has a whole network of patients whose providers did not believe Black women could get this condition. 

Many patients Gibson knows have gone decades without a proper diagnosis. In dermatology, providers get few if any examples of conditions on darker skin. Gibson knows too many patients who were told Black people don’t get psoriasis. Because of the delay in diagnosis, some of these patients waited decades to access treatments. To make matters worse, the idea that there are no Black patients with AS means there is no recruitment of Black people for studies and clinical trials. That then becomes a vicious cycle, perpetuating the idea that Black people do not get AS.

That denial extends into patient support spaces as well, a combination of perpetuating that cycle and white supremacy at work. Many people of color, but especially Black women, wind up being run out of these groups by a mixture of racism and white supremacy.

After years of sounding the alarm, providers are finally starting to research AS in Black women – with patients leading the charge. As of 2020, research has found that Black people have worse disease activity than their white counterparts. The Black community also deals with a larger number of additional health issues. In the end, that could explain part of why their disease activity is worse. That’s especially true when these health issues can be caused and influenced by systemic oppression and gatekeeping. Issues like a lack of access to care, distrust in the medical establishment, and even discrimination itself play big roles.

One example can be found in prostate cancer. Black men (and those of other genders who have a prostate) “are more likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer and nearly 2.5 times more likely to die of the disease compared to non-Hispanic white men.” A 2019 study of more than 300,000 prostate cancer patients found that access to care and additional health issues played a major role in that statistic.

“The data show that black men don’t appear to intrinsically and biologically harbor more aggressive disease,” Spratt says. “They generally get fewer PSA screenings, are more likely to be diagnosed with later stage cancer, are less likely to have health insurance, have less access to high-quality care and other disparities that can be linked to a lower overall socioeconomic status.” (source)

The study suggested that these barriers were “likely rooted in complex socio-cultural inequities in the US.” We know from various other studies, too, that “Black people simply are not receiving the same quality of health care that their white counterparts receive.”

We know, too, that discrimination such as racism leads to inflammation in the body.

“If those genes remain active for an extended period of time, that can promote heart attacks, neurodegenerative diseases, and metastatic cancer,” says co-author Steve Cole of the University of California, Los Angeles… racism may account for as much as 50 percent of the heightened inflammation among African Americans, including those who were positive for HIV. (source)

Higher inflammation has been noted among other groups as well, such as those living in poverty. When we combine information and see how many Black people are also forced to live in poverty and facing other stressors, it’s easy to see why the idea of intersectionality is vital to these conversations.

How do we fix this?

White people often assume that representation among medical providers will fix the issue. “We’re not going to ‘Black doctor’ our way out of this,” Gibson says, and she’s right. That kind of thinking puts the responsibility back on underrepresented communities. Representation can’t fix this when systemic barriers exist, including lack of access to being underinsured to essentially healthcare deserts.

These barriers prevent many people from Black communities from even thinking about entering the field of medicine. We also know that police murder and imprison Black people – especially those who are disabled – at higher rates. Between that and the number of people forced to work multiple jobs due to economic racism and poverty, that leaves little time and energy for things like medical school. That doesn’t even count the costs!

The lack of representation in these spaces is purposeful. If you force people into a constant state of survival and gatekeep their access to help at every turn, you can keep power.

black chalkboard with white text: This is a deliberate act of white supremacy.

Some believe that inclusive resources, such as Black-focused dermatology textbooks, will fix this. When resources like these pop-up, their creators become the subject of news stories and interviews. That doesn’t always translate to impact, though. That awareness fades and folks go back to their everyday lives. Those same people ‘excited’ about these resources aren’t embarrassed or motivated enough to take real action, Gibson points out. Dr. Young encourages medical students and providers to think critically about previous findings. That includes everything they’ve been taught. Perhaps if more providers thought that way, they would have already examined claims like ‘Black women don’t get AS’ and found them inaccurate.

I grew up in a Mormon household. For those of you who don’t know, Mormons are a little obsessed with genealogy. I know a lot about my family history on my mom’s side, back into the 1500s. Along with that, I know a good bit about family health history. Many white people do not consider that to be something they’re lucky to access, but it is. Black people whose family members were stolen from their homes and enslaved do not have that information.  We have to see how slavery and racism have led to long-term health issues. Trauma can be passed down via genetics to future generations. We should be further along in acknowledging and dealing with this. Public health is only acknowledging it now, though.

With this in mind, I wonder how the continued harm that Gibson and her peers face will affect future generations?

Moving Forward

2020 saw a reinvigorated cry for change. Many who used to ignore or deny racism couldn’t any longer. Our national policies haven’t changed to meet where we are as a society, Gibson shares. This especially applies to the field of medicine. Back in March of this year, the Journal of the American Medical Association questioned if systemic racism even exists. Many institutions are only now starting to think about health equity work. This means they’re playing catch-up to not only learn the basics of equity but also terms that are new to them around race, ethnicity, gender, and more. On top of defensiveness, this also leads to a lot of mistakes. Those are bound to happen, sure, but it’s easy to see how people lose trust in these institutions – institutions that should know better by now.

“Perfection is a tool of white supremacy.” We know, logically, that perfection doesn’t exist. Once we see how “perfection” is used as a way to oppress, police, invalidate and justify violence against the vast majority of people, it’s even more important for us to defy standards of perfection. (source)

How do we move forward? Dr. Young believes we need better representation. That’s across the board, from textbooks to questions on board exams. “We need to move away from stereotypes and really represent the diversity of diseases,” she says. Dr. Young also believes she would have benefited from interacting with students earlier. She shares that patients “paint diseases in color that often medical school teaches in black and white.” Edwards agrees. They also suggest taking steps to be more inclusive, such as avoiding assuming pronouns.

Edwards would also love to see more non-gendered illustrations in textbooks. They shared that seeing variety in body shape is sorely needed. Improving these images can change how providers interact with a variety of people. ” I absolutely think our medical books should reflect our society,” they share.

Wanting more representation is great, but that would take time people here now may not have. As Gibson puts it, “If [the field of] medicine is such an important part of our society, why should I skulk around in the shadows?” 

Thinking back to trauma, Gibson wonders about “the long-term consequences of having to create this moment.” She adds, “We may have the highest understanding of disparities we’ve ever had.” While true, Gibson is also concerned it will get worse. “Right now, people are feeling something and will assume they did something with that.” None of this has translated to national policy, meaning the progress could disappear. If it does, Gibson wonders if things will be worse than before.

My Takeaways

Without working for better representation, there is no way for us to work towards a healthier future for every single one of us. The future of medicine – and the world – needs each of us to recognize the differences among us. We can celebrate some of these differences. Others we must work to correct, such as bigotry. Only then will we find our collective and mutual liberation.

a photo of audre lorde with her quote - “Without community, there is no liberation... but community must not mean a shedding of our differences, nor the pathetic pretense that these differences do not exist.”

 

Thanks for reading! Click the ‘read more’ button below to find resources and further reading.

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Continue reading “Representation in Medical Education Needs to Enter the 21st Century”

Do you feel like you can talk to your HCPs about sex?

Pals, I’m running research! Come help!

When we say ‘HCPs,’ we mean healthcare providers. This could be a physician, nurse, medical assistant, physical therapist, or another medical professional directly involved in your care.

square graphic with two people of color resting their foreheads together - text says 'research opportunity | Do you feel like you can talk to your HCPs about sex, gender, and sexuality? | bit.ly/HCPsexuality | orchidsresearch.org

This survey is to measure concerns, attitudes, and ideas you may have about the conversation between health care providers and patients on sex. This survey is for those in a patient role and is only opened to people 18 and older in the United States or the US territories.

The information you share will be used to create a comprehensive and accessible guide to help you and others navigate discussing sex with providers easier in the future. This guide will be free and available via a number of methods so that you can utilize the one most accessible to you.

The answers you provide will be anonymous and only utilized for research or education around the discussion of sexuality and gender within healthcare. The cumulative percentages for questions will be used in order to discuss and share information with others. No identifying information will be collected, but you will be asked a number of sensitive questions around sex, sexuality, and healthcare interactions.

What is involved in this research?

This study consists of a one-time online survey using Google Surveys. ORCHIDS – The Organization for Research of Chronic Illness, Disability, and Sexuality – is conducting this survey. You can learn more about our group at orchidsresearch.org.

It should take approximately 30-45 minutes to complete the survey.

Are there benefits to being in the study?

There is no direct benefit for you. By taking part in this survey, though, you may contribute to knowledge about talking with providers around sex and sexuality. This may be used in the future for medical education as well as presentations and other learning materials.

What are the possible risks of the study?

There are no physical risks associated with this study. There is the potential to relive difficult situations throughout the course of this survey. You may stop your participation in this study at any time by closing the survey.

As with anything online, there is a potential risk of loss of privacy. We will make every effort to keep your information private. Naturally, this cannot be guaranteed.

What are the costs and compensation?

There are neither costs nor compensation.

At the end of the survey, you will be given an additional link to put in your email address if you want to be among the first to access information about the guide we’re creating.

Who do I contact for questions?

If you have questions or concerns, please contact Kirsten Schultz. This can be done via email (kirsten -at- chronicsex.org).

Do you agree to participate in this study?

By clicking ‘next,’ you allow us to utilize your de-identified information in order to discuss issues related to sex and sexuality. This also allows us the ability to highlight the concerns you’ve shared in the final guide that will be created and available for free. You also certify that you are a person age 18 and over currently living in the United States or one of the US territories.

This survey will close on November 1, 2019.

If you’re interested, please note that you must live in the United States (or US territories – such as Puerto Rico or Guam) and be 18 years of age or older.

Ready? Let’s go! http://bit.ly/HCPsexuality

Ways You Can Help Trans, Non-binary, and GNC People

Updated on Oct 30, 2018

Content note: this post contains anti-trans sentiments, fucking cishet patriarchy bullshit, food, suicide/crisis hotline & violence mentions. If you need help, you can call 877-565-8860 (US), 877-330-6366 (Canada), or find resources in your country here. Unless I know someone’s pronouns, I use ‘they’ to be most neutral.

trans flag with purple text boxes on top and white text: "Ways You Can Help Trans, Non-binary, and GNC People" - "Chronic Sex"

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a few days. Honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to sit down and really work on it, though.

There are over a million and a half (roughly) trans, non-binary, or gender non-conforming people in the United States. Unfortunately, we’re far from tolerated – people want us dead. This is not embellishment by any means. We’re very rightly afraid for our lives and well-being.

Along with removing trans people from the health department site, the Department of Justice has told the Supreme Court that discriminating against trans people in the workplace doesn’t violate federal law. And, now, this administration is trying to strong-arm the United Nations to change ‘gender-based violence’ to ‘violence against women,’ effectively eliminating protections for us around the world.

We have very few rights around the world as it is, and it’s terrifying to see people willing to roll them back. You can’t say you’re doing things to protect the country while attacking literally everyone who isn’t a allocishet dyadic abled rich while man.

I know that people are wondering what we can do in the face of this stuff. Well, like I did last year for natural disasters, I did what I do best – pulled together ways you can help. I hope to keep this post updated for the foreseeable future while we’re facing terrifying odds, and will add a note at the top with when I’ve last updated.

 

photo of people at a rally with a transparent purple overlay and white text: "ACTION"

 

VOTE

I know not everyone is able to vote. I won’t shame y’all for that, but apathy? That won’t do. Until the purge starts (which is a terrifying thought), the most power we have is through exercising our rights to vote, protect, and speak up. Please do so.

There are a record number of trans and queer candidates this year. Take a minute and seee if any trans candidates are up for election in your neck of the woods.

Contact Your Reps

A super easy way to do this is through ResistBot. All you have to do is text RESIST to 50409 – or send it to them via Facebook Messenger – and they’ll help you contact your local and national officials. What I really like about this is that it makes it easy to keep in touch with officials. They’ll also text you to remind you to speak up, and that’s pretty great for us brain fog peeps.

Of course, if you can visit or call on your own, that’s awesome, too! You can double check who you’re represented by here.

As a quick heads up, email isn’t as effective even though it’s easy. That’s why I like ResistBot and how they turn your text into calls or faxes.

Whatever way works best, just make sure to do it.

Educate Yourself

There are a lot of people who would like to be better allies to the trans/GNC community. The best way to do that is either to ask one of us open to sharing information with you or educate yourself. It shouldn’t always be on a marginalized group to educate privileged people about their oppression, especially when there are so many resources out there if you search correctly or find the right kinds of sites to learn from.

GLAAD has a great primer on how to be a better ally. I’ve got a post about genders you should check out, too.

Other sites that have great pieces:

Educate Others

After you’ve learned about trans issues, take steps to correct misconceptions. Take a stand because, unless people learn, we can’t move forward. When you hear transphobic/misic remarks, spend time to share the true with people.

Sometimes, that means speaking up in public. Other times, that might mean being the uncomfortable voice of truth at Thanksgiving. Honestly, it’s the best way to feel like you’ve earned pie!

Speak Out

Come with us to rallies and protests. Go with us when it’s dangerous. Check in on us.

Use any privileges you have – especially if you’re cis – to tell people about how gender isn’t a binary, immigrants aren’t evil, and more.

Standby

When we’re able to formally comment against the legislation, we’ll need allies to help make an impact. You can follow the Transgender Law Center for more information on Facebook, Twitter, or through their site or email list.

Volunteer

You can find spaces near you to volunteer, thanks to The Trevor Project.

 

 

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Continue reading “Ways You Can Help Trans, Non-binary, and GNC People”

A Starter List of Genders & Gender Terms

a photo of a person in a grey sweatshirt laying down looking up at us as if we are the sky; a teal overlay is on the left with white text: " A Starter List of Genders & Gender Terms " and " Chronic Sex "; between both texts is a black genderqueer icon

Gender is a complicated topic. People who aren’t familiar with the history of gender aren’t usually aware of how many genders have existed throughout history in a variety of cultures. Instead, they claim things like only two genders exist or that trans people are inherently misogynistic.

Anyone who is anything other than men and women get side-eyes and judgment over acceptance and conversation. People don’t understand what it’s like to be non-binary or why we might use other pronouns.

First, some terms

A couple of terms that will be important to understanding gender overall:

AFAB: Assigned female at birth.

AMAB: Assigned male at birth.

Femme: This can be a short-hand for feminine. Femmes usually have a more feminine gender expression. A person of any gender can be femme.

Intersex: Someone who was born with a combination of male and female anatomy and/or chromosomes. The antonym for intersex is Dyadic: Someone who is not intersex.

Masc: This can be a short-hand for masculine or someone who has a more masculine gender expression. A person of any gender can be masc.

This is not to be confused with mask, which everyone should be wearing in the year of our lord 2020.

Gender expression: how someone expresses or performs their gender; includes hairstyle, clothing, and accessories.

 

Gender Terms

Agender or gender neutrois: Does not have a gender.

Androgynous: Appearing gender neutral.

Aporagender: A strong gender identity that is neither male nor female.

Bigender: Encompassing male and female gender identities. Ambigender is a similar term.

Butch: A more masculine gender expression from someone who is AFAB.

Cisgender: Someone who identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth.

Demigender: Non-binary but feeling that one is partly a certain gender.

Demiboy: Feeling partially like a boy.

Demigirl: Feeling partially like a girl.

Genderfluid: Someone who does not have a fixed gender, but feels as though their gender is a range.

Gender neutral: Someone who doesn’t feel as though they’re one gender or another. This can be a term applied to items as well, such as gender-neutral bathrooms, etc.

Gender non-conforming (GNC): Someone who doesn’t conform to societal gender ideas or the gender binary.

Genderqueer: Someone who is GNC and defies gender norms by identifying as no gender, bigender, or some combination or a variety of genders.

Intergender: An intersex-specific gender identity denoting a combination of masc/femme gender identities similar to genderqueer or androgynous.

Metrosexual: A cisgender man who pays more attention to his appearance. This term peaked in the early 2000’s and is now rarely used due to a growing understanding of various genders and gender roles.

Non-binary: Someone who does not fit into the gender binary.

Pangender: Being more than one gender, or being all genders.

What about transgender people?

Some people who aren’t cisgender feel comfortable using the label transgender. Not everyone does. That means that someone who is non-binary may not want to use trans terms for themselves. Please respect that.

Here are more trans-specific terms:

  • Transgender: Someone who was assigned a certain gender at birth but is not that gender; literally just the opposite of cisgender
    • Trans man: Someone who was assigned female at birth and is a man. This does not require any HRT or surgery. Additional terms include trans masc or FTM (female-to-male).
    • Trans woman: Someone who was assigned male at birth and is a woman. This does not require any HRT or surgery. Additional terms include trans femme or MTF (male-to-female).
  • Transitioning: The process of matching one’s body to one’s gender. The gender affirming process is often a long and difficult one. It is important to keep in mind that not everyone can or wants to undergo any or all of these steps.
    • Gender-affirming hormone treatment (HRT): Hormones are started to help the development of desired gender traits. This can include estrogen, antiandrogens, progesterone, testosterone, androgens, antiestrogens, and more.
    • Surgeries
      • Top surgery: Surgery to alter a person’s chest. Depending on the person’s gender, this can be breast augmentation, breast reduction, or a bilateral mastectomy and chest reconstruction.
      • Bottom surgery: There are a variety of surgeries that may be needed for bottom surgery. Patients may need a hysterectomy, bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy, vaginectomy, penectomy, and/or orchiectomy. A vaginoplasty creates a vagina and vulva from the patient’s penis and surrounding material. Surgeries that aid in the creation of a penis can include scrotoplasty, metoidioplasty, and phalloplasty.
      • Additional surgery: Surgery can be had to assist with the following: facial feminization, vocal feminization, tracheal shave, and buttock augmentation.

Additional terms

  • Cishet: Cisgender and heterosexual.
  • Cisheterosexism: The societal favoring of cisgender and heterosexual people.
  • Cissexism: The societal favoring of cisgender people.
  • Drag: People of one gender who dress up as another gender for performances.
  • Genderism: A belief in the gender binary or that there are only two genders.
  • Mx (mix): A gender-neutral replacement for Miss/Ms., Mister/Mr., or Misses/Mrs.
  • Stealth: Someone who is trans but not ‘out’ about their gender.
  • Transmisia: Bigotry or discrimination against transgender people.

Avoid these terms

(unless you’re personally reclaiming a slur or someone you know is and has okayed these terms to be used in reference to them)

  • Preferred pronouns: Pronouns aren’t preferred or optional. They’re required in respectful relationships.
  • Sodomite, deviant, diseased, perverted: These terms have been used to ‘other’ people under the LGBTQ+ umbrella for ages.
  • Transgendered: Transgender is a noun, not a verb. The correct term would be someone who is transgender.
  • Transgenders: This removes someone’s humanity. The correct term here would be transgender (or trans) people.
  • A transgender: This removes someone’s humanity. Use a transgender (or trans) person.
  • Tranny/trannie: A shortened form of transgender, generally used as a slur.
  • Transsexual: This is an outdated term for trans people.
  • Transvestite: An outdated term for a cross-dresser.
  • Sex change or pre-op/post-op: These phrases place the focus on the state of a person’s genitals, not their gender.
  • She-male, he-she, it: These phrases remove a person’s humanity.
  • Passing: Someone whose gender expression matches assumptions about what people of their gender look like. This is usually used to refer to someone who is transgender but can ‘pass’ as cisgender. Because of the harm of a focus on passing, this is not a favored term in non-cisgender circles.
  • Fooling/pretending/trap: This is often used when someone feels as though they’ve been fooled by someone of another gender (generally a transgender person). There are those whose transmisia runs deep enough that they believe trans people try to fool or trick them into relationships. No person pretends to be another gender for those reasons.
  • Non-females: This term is othering to trans and gender-expansive people. Additionally, female is a term for sex not gender. It should never be used, especially in spaces focused on equity.

Want to learn more about sexuality and attraction? Click here.

A Starter List of Attractions and Orientations

a photo of a rainbow assortment of straws against a black background with white text: " A Starter List of Attractions and Orientations " and " Chronic Sex "

With it being Pride month, I wanted to share something that I’ve been working on for a while – a list of attractions and orientations. This list is by no means meant to be exhaustive – more like a good start.

Did you know that there are actually several types of attraction? It’s true!

  • Aesthetic: attraction to one’s appearance.
  • Alterous: attraction that’s a mix between platonic and romantic; wanting emotional closeness.
  • Platonic: wanting a friendship with someone.
  • Romantic: wanting to have a romantic relationship with someone.
  • Sensual: wanting to engage in non-sexual closeness like cuddling.
  • Sexual: wanting to engage in sexual acts with someone.

This can all be used as suffixes to go along to share a variety of labels. As an example, I use pansexual or queer to label my sexuality – which could be labeled duosexual (defined below). Since writing this post, I’ve also shifted to being transmasculine and attracted far more to other masculine folks, so I also may use gay or androsexual to describe my sexuality. My romantic and sensual attraction labels are fairly similar to my sexuality label. Aesthetically, I’m attracted to androgynous looks (ninaesthetic) and very masculine looks (androaesthetic). I tend to be either panalterous and panplatonic.

 

Some quick terms

In order to understand some of the terms, you’ll need to know a few others.

Femme: a person who acts, dresses, or identifies as more feminine regardless of gender.

Masc: a person who acts, dresses, or identifies as more masculine regardless of gender.

 

Well-known(ish) labels

Heterosexual (straight): attracted to members of the ‘opposite’ sex (i.e., a man who is sexually attracted to women).

Asexual (ace): someone who does not feel attracted to others sexually and therefore is not generally interested in sexual relationships – this is a spectrum in and of itself, though, because this can range from those who are asexual and aromantic (see below) to those who are asexual but are demiromantic.

Aromantic (aro): someone who does not feel attracted to others romantically and therefore is not interested in romantic relationships with others.

Note: Aros and aces are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, period. Even if “hetero-leaning,” they do not meet societal expectations of how people are ‘supposed’ to engage in relationships. As such, they face a variety of violent actions and harm including corrective assault, etc. If you don’t include the ace and aro community in your activism, you’re exclusionary and actively causing harm to others.

Gay: men or masculine non-binary people attracted to men. This term can be used as a general term for those under the LGBTQ+ umbrella at times, with varying degrees of inclusion (e.g., ‘gay’ could refer to gay men/nonbinary folks, gays and lesbians, gays and lesbians and anyone experience same-gender attraction, etc.).

Lesbian: women or non-binary people who are attracted to women.

Queer: This is often used to describe a person who falls under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, regardless of their gender or orientation. It used to be a slur but has been reclaimed by people within the community. Still, that slur status stands, so please don’t use this to describe a patient unless they’ve signaled that they’re okay with it. Many LGBTQ+ people identify as queer which is partially a sociopolitical identification. A good example of this would be those who participated in the Stonewall Riots, Act Up!, or other LGBTQ+ activist events.

Bisexual: the more well-known term to say one is attracted to two or more genders.

Bicurious: someone who is curious about experiences with multiple genders.

Pansexual: think “I am attracted to everyone, regardless of their or my gender identity.”

The difference between bisexual and pansexual is that bi takes gender into consideration while pan does not. That’s literally the only difference. Neither is inherently transmisic or bimisic in design because they don’t mean the same thing.

Why do I use -misic/misia instead of -phobic/phobia? Learn more.

 

Orientations you may not know

I’ve used sexual as the suffix for many of these, even though you could use any of the attraction suffixes above.

Abrosexual: having a sexual orientation that can’t be pinned down in words due to it constantly changing.

Acorsexual: being sexually attracted to someone but unable to participate due to traumatic history or other reasons.

Aegosexual: having sexual attraction but only for situations you’re not participating in.

Aliquasexual: only feeling sexual attraction under certain circumstances.

Allosexual: Someone who experiences sexual attraction; the opposite of asexual.

Amorplatonic: Someone who experiences romantic attraction to others but prefers to be friends or engage in friends-with-benefits behavior over relationships.

Androsexual: Someone who is sexually attracted to people who present more masculine or males.

Apothisexual: being asexual specifically due to being repulsed by sex.

Arcsexual: averse, repulsed, and conflicted by sex.

Bellusromantic: being interested in romantic activities but not a romantic relationship.

Caedsexual: having felt sexual attraction in the past, but lost that attraction due to trauma.

Cassromantic: feeling indifferent to romantic relationships.

Ceasesexual: having sexual attraction but losing it for a time period.

Ceterosexual: someone who is attracted to non-binary and gender non-conforming people; skolio is another prefix for this, but it suggests some weirdness/ableism as it means bent or broken.

Cupiosexual: not feeling sexual attraction, but still wanting sexual experiences.

Demiromantic: someone who generally needs to have a very strong emotional connection to someone in order to feel attracted to them romantically.

Demisexual: someone who generally needs to have a very strong emotional connection to someone in order to feel attracted to them sexually.

Dreadsexual: someone who goes through periods of having sexual attraction or not having it – and having it brings anxiety.

Duosexual: using two or more attraction labels that you flip between (e.g., bisexual and pansexual).

Finsexual: sexual attraction to femmes.

Icularomantic: an aromantic person who is still open to having romantic relationships.

Kalosromanitc: desiring a romantic relationship but not being romantically attracted to anyone in specific categories.

Limnosexual: enjoying erotic art, but not participating in sexual acts.

Minsexual: sexual attraction to mascs.

Monosexual: Romantic or sexual attraction to only one gender.

Morphesexual: someone whose orientation changes based on the type of attraction and person it’s directed towards.

Neuplatonic: having friendship attraction to people who are genderless.

Neuroaromantic: wanting to be in a romantic relationship but being scared of it because of your mental health or neurodiversity.

Ninsexual: sexual attraction to androgynous people.

Novosexual: your sexuality changes with your gender.

Omnisexual: sexual attraction to all genders.

Penultiromantic: romantic attraction to every gender but your own.

Platoniromantic (Idemromantic): someone who doesn’t feel a difference between platonic and romantic attraction.

Polysexual: being sexually attracted to multiple but not all genders.

Pomosexual: identifying as not heterosexual, but not necessarily needing a specific label.

Quoisexual: feeling like sexual attraction doesn’t apply or make sense for you.

Reciprosensual: sensual attraction to someone only when they’ve shared their sensual attraction to you.

Requiesromantic: feeling too emotionally exhausted to experience romantic attraction.

Sansromantic: your romantic attraction just does what it does without any real trend or pattern.

Thymsexual: your sexual attraction depends on how you’re doing emotionally.

 

Relationship Types

In addition to the large variety of attraction types, there are different relationship types. Here are just a few examples.

Monogamous: someone who is in an exclusive one-on-one relationship.

Polyamorous: someone who is in a consensually non-monogamous relationship; this can also be called ethical non-monogamy; a lot of people use the short-hand ‘poly’ for this but that gets confusing when you note poly can be a suffix for both gender and attraction types – it also is the short-hand used for Polynesian people, and we shouldn’t be co-opting that. Forms of polyamory include:

  • An open relationship/marriage: partners are able to take on new sexual partners.
  • Polygamy: one person may have multiple spouses.
  • Mono/Polyam Relationship: one person in a relationship stays monogamous to their partner while their partner is non-monogamous.
  • Swinging: usually refers to people who have sex outside their marriage but don’t necessarily engage in multiple romantic relationships.
  • Bigamy: being married to two people at once; not legally recognized in most places.

This is just the tip of the non-monogamy iceberg. Stay tuned for more on this in the future.

 

Additional terms to know

  • Bimisia: Bigotry and discrimination against bisexual people. This is usually seen in how people label relationships of bisexual people (e.g., a bisexual woman dating another woman is often called a lesbian, but if she’s dating a man she’s called straight).
  • Closeted: Someone who has not disclosed their sexual orientation to others. Someone who isn’t ‘out’ about their sexual orientation (or gender).
  • Coming out: The process someone takes when they share their sexual orientation with others, either publicly or privately. This isn’t an all-or-nothing process – for example, someone can ‘come out’ to friends but stay closeted to their parents.
  • Heteronormativity: The societal assumption that every relationship will be heterosexual. This message is often sent to us in media we consume, such as ads or television shows featuring a large majority of heterosexual couples. This can also be called heterosexism.
  • Homomisia: Bigotry and discrimination against gay men and lesbians.
  • Outing: Sharing someone’s sexual orientation without their permission. This is generally used when someone is closeted, either in general or to whomever you out them.
  • Questioning: Someone who is unsure of or exploring their sexual orientation.

Avoid these

(unless you’re reclaiming them or someone else is and has said you can use these terms towards them)

  • Homosexual: This is an outdated and more medicalized term to describe gay and lesbian people.
  • Sexual preference: Sexual orientation is not a preference.
  • Preferred pronouns: Pronouns aren’t preferred or optional. They’re required in respectful relationships.
  • Fag, dyke, homo: Slurs for gay men, lesbians, and both, respectively.
  • Sodomite, deviant, diseased, perverted: These terms have been used to ‘other’ people under the LGBTQ+ umbrella for ages.

Wanna learn more about gender? Click here.

Masturbation, Chronic Illness, and Queerness video!

Y’all, I’ve got a story to tell. It starts with me nerding over Eva from What Is My Body Doing? at the University of Guelph Sexuality Conference in 2017. The latest chapter ends with Eva releasing this pretty cool video of a recent convo.

She is the cutest! I am so incredibly happy to know Eva and to watch her come into her queerness.

Make sure to check out her other amazing videos on YouTube. If you like her stuff, support her on Patreon! Want to cruise her social? Follow her on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr (where you can ask her anonymous questions!).

Coming Out to My Healthcare Providers, Part 1.2: The GP’s Office & IUD Visit

In my post yesterday, I talked about coming out to my GP’s office.

My IUD appointment was… it went as well as it could go. I’m still unpacking my feels around that and will post them in the future.

After inserting my IUD, the PA asked what pronouns I use. She mentioned that there was a new spot in our EHR to add those in. While she was doing that, she asked about my orientation and if I wanted that noted.

Since she was adding things – and in the interest of being forthcoming – I mentioned that we are moving towards nonmonogamy. I also stated I hadn’t had any new partners as of yet, though.

Now everyone in one of my health systems will be able to see these identities in my chart. It’s nice to not have the pressure of specifically coming out to each provider, but I’m also guessing I’ll have to update people. This also doesn’t cover the people in the other health system that I see.

The PA was super affirming, and I’m grateful that she’s aware of what’s going on. She also does a ton of work with advocating for the LGBT+ community within our larger healthcare community. It’ll be really nice to continue to develop a relationship with her and see what I can help with, too.

Stonewall Inn Doesn’t Know the ADA

This week, they turned away a blind person with their service dog.

The manager was cavalier about it. They were adamant that there was some sort of documentation required.

There isn’t.

Thankfully, a friend with them recorded a video of the ordeal. You can catch a transcript here.

Help me tell Stonewall Inn that they need to get their ish together.

Update: Them put up a story about this as well.

Final update: As of June 9th,  Stonewall finally provided a meaningful statement to yours truly. They’ve apologized and will be offering an ADA training for bars and clubs in the area. They are going to have the disability rights lawyer they’re working with go over a variety of accessibility issues with them. They’re also going to make donations via their charity to a disability org. They didn’t tell me what, if anything, would go on with manager Mike… which I’m still not pleased about… I’m still going to be keeping an eye on them. This isn’t the first story of discrimination, and I doubt it’ll be the last.