Pelvic Floor Therapy: Second Appointment

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

photo of a catcus plant in a terra cotta pot, flowers on two of its stems, sitting on top of a table; to the left, white text "Pelvic Floor Therapy: Second Appointment" and "Chronic Sex"

If you missed the first post on PFT, click here to catch up.

Yesterday, I had my second pelvic floor therapy appointment. I should’ve had it last week, but wound up feeling really crummy while tending to a very nervous guinea pig.

Jaq lays on my chest (clad in a grey tee) and under a yellow/grey/white quilt; he's a white and tan guinea pig with gorgeous dark eyes

(Jaq’s doing a lot better by the way.)

I’d been doing exercises my therapist asked me to do. I didn’t think they were helping. In fact, in conjunction with these exercises, I have weaned off my muscle relaxers… which is great, but also not.

Since last week, I’ve actually had several instances of waking up in the middle of the night with these spasms we were concerned about in the first place. At my appointment, we discovered that the reason my pelvic floor muscles were so good that first appointment was because of that med.

We hoped I would at least keep some of that strength and less of the tension. Alas, that’s not what’s happened.

When MJ got in there for a pelvic exam, it was instantly uncomfortable. As she moved to working on the left side, it felt like she was scraping my vagina with the jagged ends of paper clips. A dull ache started and persisted through the rest of the exam – and even into exercises.

The muscle on the left that’s struggling seems to be one that’s also involved in my hip. This could be a part of why my hip and back both hurt.

Since that contract and release exercise was no longer helping, we decided to move to two other stretches – something similar to the wall hip stretch, but with the leg being leaned on fully on the floor, and squats.

These combined with the exercises I have from my spine/neck PT – it’s a lot. After back-to-back PT appointments today, I was really tired. My muscles are exhausted. Even more, my left hip is so tight it’s not even funny. I have to lean on things cooking or doing other tasks.

Still, I hope that this leads to solutions – even if it’s different than we thought before.

In other news, it’s World Mental Health Day. Learn five ways you can help end mental health stigma {gifs in link}.

Peepshow Toys is Having a Sale!

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

white photo with orange and black text "20% off our fresh fall picks collection use code FALL20 valid 10-6-17 thru 10-15-17" then four pumpkins in varying sizes above the Peepshow Toys logo in orange

Our friends at Peepshow Toys are having a fall sale!

They’ve picked out nearly 50 of their coolest items to discount! I highly recommend either Uberlube or Sliquid’s Sassy lube – they’re two of my favorites!

Looking for a sleek, sexy toy? Check out the Sola Cue Multi-Function Silicone Rechargeable G-Spot Vibrator! If something more daring is your style, maybe the b-Vibe Trio Plug Waterproof Remote Control Vibrating Anal Toy is for you. Either way, you’re sure to find something to treat yourself with this month.

Still, if those fresh picks don’t strike your fancy, you can save 10% using the code CHRONIC.

Happy picking!

What Matthew Shepard Means To Me

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

photo of Matthew Shepard's memorial bench on the U of Wyoming campus - plaque reads "Matthew Wayne Shepard * December 1, 1976 - October 12, 1998 * Beloved son, brother, and friend * He continues to make a difference * Peace be with him and all who sit here"; under photo is a black text box with white text "What Matthew Shepard Means To Me" and "Chronic Sex"

TW: death, murder, homomisia, hate crimes.

When I was ten years old, I had already been through a lot of rough stuff. I knew that I didn’t feel as girly as I ‘should,’ and knew I liked both boys and girls.

In October 1998, I heard about a man who was beaten and nearly dead. As more news came out, I learned that Matthew Shepard had been harmed because he was gay. To this day, there are conflicting reports about this, but I believe this played a part.

It felt like the whole world was watching. As a baby queer growing up in a conservative household, this attack hit me hard. I didn’t have the words to express my feels, but kept crying – something I absolutely hate doing.

I realized why people felt they had to hide their sexuality. Even today, when things really haven’t changed as much as we like to think, it’s understandable. I still feel a bit of fear when I go out dressed more manly – and won’t ever go out with my packer.

I wanted to go and attend a vigil or go counter-protest the WBC jerks. There are many reasons that couldn’t happen, but I’ve felt this pull to go there for a long time.

Matthew was HIV positive, something that wasn’t well-known until he was in the hospital following the attack. The reason this got notoriety was mostly out of concern for the responding officer. She had faulty supplies and so worked on saving Matthew sans gloves. There was a good amount of ableism around HIV afterward. I didn’t understand why people were so harmful, so judgmental. After all, I had already been tested as a child due to my doctors taking forever to find my diagnosis of Still’s Disease.

I will always wonder what kind of HIV and AIDS advocate Matthew would’ve become had he survived.

By the time he died the following week, there was already a movement started to improve hate crime laws. By 2009, President Obama signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act. This officially added sexual orientation and gender to then-existing hate crime laws.

In high school, I watched as classmates put on The Laramie Project – a play based on interviews with Laramie residents following Matthew’s death. I cried nearly the entire time. By the time I was in college, I was fortunate enough to attend a speech Matthew’s mother Judy gave about the events and her subsequent work on LGBT+ rights and hate crimes through the Matthew Shepard Foundation. Again, I cried for much of that.

As I’ve begun navigating my own queerness, it seems that there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of Matthew or his family. It’s such an odd thing to say since I didn’t and don’t know them. His attack and death taught me so much about the world, though, and the way it views us.

In June of 2016, the ex and I drove his old car from Wisconsin to California to give it to my sister. Our route took us through Laramie, and I knew we needed to stop at the University of Wyoming campus to visit Matthew’s memorial bench. I sat on the bench, crying, and ‘talking’ to Matthew.

This was in the middle of me figuring out my gender identity, but before I’d come out to anyone. It was comforting to sit there, to be in a spot that was set aside specifically to remember Matthew and his life. I felt so peaceful afterward.

That night, the shooting at the Pulse nightclub happened, spurring many of us to reflect on why it felt like our spaces had been targeted… and finding both our queerness and our transness.

With rollbacks happening to our rights, we have to remember these fights. It’s been two decades, but we are by no means done fighting for our fellow LGBTQQIA2+ or disabled/chronically ill siblings. Matthew reminds me how much one person can impact others. He inspires me on days when I’m tired of constantly fighting bills and asking Congresspeople not to harm us.

Maybe he can help you keep fighting, too.

 

2023 update:

A few weeks ago, I did something that Matthew never got to do — I got gay married. He died just a couple of years before we gained civil unions — and nearly a decade before we’d be allowed legal marriage in a handful of states.

I thought about him a lot that day, about how we get to cross milestones in life that people we care about didn’t reach.

I can’t help but think that it brightens his day to see LGBTQ+ folks living their truths openly and safely. I hope we can have a little more of that in this world.

MIAW: Let’s Talk About PTSD

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

on left, photo of a woman with long hair and a beige jacket standing in the rain and moving her dark hair out of her face with her left hand; on right, a grey text post with white text "MIAW:" yellow text "Let's Talk About PTSD" and white text "Chronic Sex"

Trigger warning: this article discusses Post-Traumatic Stress (PTSD). It will talk about examples of events (abuse, sexual assault, etc), triggers, and how it feels to be triggered. Practice self-care accordingly.

Post-Traumatic Stress (PTSD) is a diagnosis that can affect anyone at anytime.

The average person probably thinks of a military veteran when conversations around PTSD pop up. However, any singular traumatic event can trigger PTSD – and so can repetitive and longer-lasting traumas such as child abuse or experiencing discrimination (i.e., racism, homomisia, etc). The latter is considered generally to be Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). Some examples of other events are experiencing/witnessing assault, natural disasters, accidents, terrorist attacks, and dealing with/being diagnosed with a serious medical condition.

Symptoms

Not everyone experiences Post-Traumatic Stress the same way. However, common symptoms include:

  • Displaced anger and fear
  • Panic/anxiety attacks
  • Low self-esteem
  • Distrust, isolation
  • Shame, guilt, self-blame
  • Depression
  • Dissociation or detachment
  • Upset stomach, bloating, gas, IBS
  • Weight gain (difficult to lose)
  • Migraines
  • Tinnitus
  • New allergies or skin conditions
  • Sleeping issues, insomnia
  • Poor memory
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Chronic pain
  • Muscle tension
  • Change in amygdala size
  • Hypervigilance (being extremely alert, on edge)
  • Flashbacks
  • Nightmares

There is a wide variety of triggers that might trigger a recollection of an event. Some common ones include smells, words, and similar situations in media. When this happens, a person doesn’t just remember the event but will actually have a physiological reaction. You may feel you’re being touched or experiencing heat off of a fire that occurred in the memory.

The reactions are physiological. Not only do you remember the event and feel the way you felt, fear and similar reactions occur. It can be hard to come down from this as well.

Treatments

Therapy can be helpful for many, especially Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy.

Medications can help as well, specifically antidepressants or anxiety medication.

Meditation and yoga can be helpful as well. Other complementary therapies like massage or acupuncture might help as well.

There is no one perfect or preferred treatment. Just like with most mental illnesses, it depends on what works best for you and your lifestyle.

What It Feels Like

The biggest reason I’m talking about PTSD for Mental Illness Awareness Week is that I have it. It’s something that is incredibly misunderstood. While I believe I’ve had this since childhood, I wasn’t diagnosed until March 17, 2015.

By June of that year, I was writing in-depth posts about the abuse I witnessed or went through. Funny enough, as I watch (or rewatch) shows and movies, I’ve noticed new things around PTSD – like how Seven of Nine on Star Trek: Voyager has PTSD – and how Captain Janeway victim blames Seven instead of really being helpful.

Like with any illness, the unpredictability and lack of control are the biggest issues. Even with trigger warnings – which are incredibly important – I’m not always in a good headspace to read things.

If you have Post-Traumatic Stress, know that you’re not alone. It’s hard to handle this condition, but learning to do self-care really helps.

Sources

Royal College of Psychiatrists, PTSD UK, personal experience

Chat Questions: Oct 5, 2017

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

sandy background with transparent white text box and grey text "Chat Questions: Oct 5, 2017 #chronicsex"

Our chats are usually around one hour and are held on Twitter. Start time is 8 pm Eastern – 7 Central – 6 Mountain – 5 Pacific. If you’re in another time zone, check the time zone converter. Make sure to use the hashtag #chronicsex to participate in the chat.

This week, we’re talking mental illness since it’s Mental Illness Awareness Week.

Q1: Please introduce yourself in whatever way you’re comfortable sharing

Q2: Do you have a mental illness?

  • Yes, diagnosed
  • Yes, undiagnosed
  • No
  • I don’t know

Q3: Do you know what effects your medications can have on your physical and/or mental health?

  • Yes
  • No
  • Unsure
  • I have a rare dx so it’s unresearched

Q4: Do you feel like your mental health care is being well taken care of?

  • Definitely
  • So-so
  • Not really

What we endure in childhood can contribute to (and maybe cause) both physical and mental illness: ACEs Study

While ACEs are important, they also currently leave out socioeconomic status and societal discrimination, so we’ll add those in

Q5: What ACEs do you think may have influenced your current illnesses the most?

  • Experiencing abuse/neglect
  • Poverty/food/health access
  • Systemic discrimination (racism, homomisia, etc)
  • Lack of support/isolation

Q6: What treatments have worked to help with your mental health?

  • Medications
  • Therapy
  • Pets
  • Other

Q7: What is the one thing that brings you the most comfort?

MIAW: Basic Mental Health Facts

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

B&W photo of a dude looking out a window; on right, a white text box with blue text "NIAW" and under this is white text "Basic Mental Health Facts" and at bottom is a white text box with blue text "Chronic Sex"

This week is Mental Illness Awareness Week. Today, I wanted to focus on sharing mental health facts.

While 26% American adults live with a mental illness, one in twenty-five has a serious mental illness. A serious mental illness is one that “results in serious functional impairment, which substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life activities.” This includes conditions like Schizophrenia, Post-Traumatic Stress (PTSD), and Bipolar Depression.

Just under 20% of American adults live with an anxiety disorder, PTSD, or phobias. This is the most common category of mental illness and can be especially common for people with complex medical histories.

Depression and anxiety are common in people living with other chronic illnesses or disabilities. This can lead to more severe symptoms in both mental and physical illnesses. Depression can also lead to higher risks of heart attack and stroke. Risk factors for both mental and non-mental chronic illness include Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), poverty, isolation, lack of social interaction/support, racism, lack of access to fresh food and healthcare, and more.

Around 70% of adults with mental illness also have a non-mental chronic illness. Living with both lead to a 4x chance that you’ll die early.

Many patients with mental health issues have their medical issues taken less seriously. Sometimes this is more an issue of not having great access to care or insurance. Silos that separate mental care from medical care also add to the problem.

Having a mental illness makes you about twice as likely to be a victim of a violent crime than a perp.

In 2008, mental illness was found to be the third largest contributor to homelessness. Nearly half of all homeless people have a mental illness, and 25% have a serious mental illness.

Seventy-five percent of mental illnesses start by the time you’re in your mid-twenties.

Over half of adults who have substance use disorder also have an underlying mental health issue.

People with multiple marginalizations (i.e., people of color, women, people living in poverty, etc) are less likely to receive a concrete diagnosis or treatment. With that said, around 20% of white and black adults have a mental illness. 16% of Latinx adults, 14% of Asian adults, and nearly 30% of Native Americans or Alaskan natives struggle as well.

People within the LGBTQQIA2+ community are more than twice as likely to have a mental illness. They are 2-3 times more likely to attempt suicide in their youth. They’re also more likely to experience discrimination when seeking healthcare, especially for mental illnesses.

Some of the many barriers encountered when seeking a diagnosis or care include:

  • Access, including lack of insurance coverage for mental health
  • Timing (i.e., Can you see a provider outside of work hours?)
  • Poverty
  • Transportation
  • Quality of care
  • Stigma
  • Racism
  • Homomisia, Transmisia, Cisheterosexism, and additional discrimination
  • Language barriers

Facts from NAMI, Mental Health By The Numbers, Multicultural Facts, NIAMH, CDC, SAMHSA.

Vote for Chronic Sex on Kinkly

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Kinkly Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes badges against a white background; a transparent pink text box runs across the bottom with white text "Vote for Chronic Sex on Kinkly"

It’s that time of year again – time to vote for Chronic Sex to become one of Kinkly’s Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes!

I’ll be honest – I asked the same last year and didn’t expect anything to come from it. Chronic Sex got into the top 60! This year, I’m hoping we might even move up a bit.

How can you help?

Pop over to Chronic Sex’s profile on Kinkly to vote. They’re only looking at profiles that receive 5 or more votes by October 9th, so get on it!

When you’re done, make sure to vote for other amazing bloggers you want to support. Some of my favorites in alphabetical order:

Don’t delay – vote for us today!

Awareness Calendar for October

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

green lines around outline of white photo with orange pumpkin: "Awareness Calendar for October - Chronic Sex"

Month:

  • ADHD
  • AIDS (December is more popularized as AIDS awareness month, but October is a secondary month)
  • Breast Cancer
  • Dental Hygiene
  • Depression Education and Awareness
  • Disability Employment
  • Domestic Violence
  • Down Syndrome
  • Dwarfism
  • Dysautonomia
  • Dyslexia
  • Emotional Wellness
  • Ergonomics
  • Eye Injury
  • Gaucher Disease
  • Health Literacy
  • Healthy Lungs
  • Home Eye Safety
  • LGBT History
  • Liver
  • Long-Term Care Planning
  • Menopause
  • Niemann-Pick Disease
  • Organize Your Medical Information
  • Patient-Centered Care
  • Physical Therapy
  • Pregnancy and Infant Loss
  • Rett Syndrome
  • SIDS
  • Spina Bifida
  • Talk About Your Medicines

Day/week:

  • Mental Illness Awareness Week (1-7)
  • World Animal Day (4)
  • World Cerebral Palsy Day (6)
  • World Mental Health Day (10)
  • National Coming Out Day (11)
  • Bone and Joint Health National Action Week (12-20)
  • World Thrombosis Day (13)
  • Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day (13)
  • National Dessert Day (14)
  • Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day (15)
  • National Latino HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (15)
  • Global Handwashing Day (15)
  • National White Cane Safety Day (15)
  • International Infection Prevention Week (15-21)
  • National Healthcare Quality Week (17-22)
  • World Pediatric Bone and Joint Day (19)
  • Asexual Awareness Week (19-25)
  • World Osteoporosis Day (20)
  • National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day (21)
  • International Stuttering Awareness Day (22)
  • Respiratory Care Week (22-28)
  • Lung Health Day (25)
  • Intersex Awareness Day (26)
  • World Stroke Day (29)
  • World Psoriasis Day (29)

Chat Updates & Schedule Thru Dec 2017

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

on left, a dark grey text box with yellow text "chat Updates & Schedule Thru Dec 2017" and white text "Chronic Sex" | on right, a femme sits cross-legged on a bed while typing on a laptop

I’m canceling our chat tonight for a fun reason – women’s hockey!

This got me thinking, though. Between traveling and special events, our schedule changes a little for the rest of the year. The following are days I’m hoping to hold our chat:

October

  • 5
  • 12 (World Arthritis Day, so expect a topic around that!)
  • 19
  • 26

November

  • 2
  • 16
  • 30

December

  • 7
  • 14
  • 21
  • 28

I may cancel these as needed for health stuff. When in doubt, check our Twitter hashtag #chronicsex.

Our chats are usually around one hour and are held on Twitter. Start time is 8 pm Eastern – 7 Central – 6 Mountain – 5 Pacific. If you’re in another time zone, check the time zone converter.

As those of you who have been following chat for a while know, I was hoping to have a second time to be more accommodating to those outside North America. I’m struggling enough with my health right now that this isn’t an option. However, one thing I’ve done to make our chat a little more accessible is alter how I ask questions.

Instead of focusing only on open-ended questions, I’m asking questions using polls (when it fits). This means that anyone can answer the question anonymously via poll for 24 hours after the question is posted. This helps people who are in different time zones, unable to make chat times for other reasons, and those who need to be more anonymous but would like to participate in the chat. You can still answer open-endedly or expand on your poll answer if you like.

I’m also hoping to get the podcast going again soon. If you have a topic you’d like to hear about, whether for chat or a podcast episode, please let me know!

CHIP Needs Our Help

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

white background with a stethoscope featuring a red heart; black text at top middle "CHIP Needs Our Help" and at bottom middle "Not Standing Still's Disease"

The Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) was passed in August 1997, taking effect the next month. What this program does is give states funds (that they must match) that help to cover children living in low-income households that don’t qualify for Medicaid. It’s undergone expansion, adding protection for a couple million more children thanks to President Obama.

Today, CHIP covers approximately 9 million children from low-income families. These children are at risk of losing their healthcare. See, funding for CHIP ends at the end of this month – so, Saturday. The Senate has refused to discuss renewing funding for CHIP since early this year, focusing on repeal-and-replace efforts instead. Without immediate renewal, over a million of these children would lose insurance and the remaining 8 million would see reduced benefits.

The Senate Finance Committee, led by Ron Wyden and Orrin Hatch, have introduced a bill – S 1827 – that extends funding for another five years. However, the Senate has failed to act on this.

Do what you can today to reach out to your Senators and ask them to discuss this bill NOW.

  • Contact your Senators
  • Protest and picket (if able)
  • Get loud on social media
    • Use tags like #saveCHIP
  • Send letters to the editors or reach out to your local news to explain your concerns

Let’s come together to ensure that these children aren’t left behind.